CFTC Recipient

Love That Lasts

Laurel’s powerful story honors decades of devoted caregiving, showing how love endures beyond loss and how FTTF stepped in to support her even after her husband’s passing.

This story is very special. It is a story of forty-four and a half years of love. 

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The caregiving needs do not end when your loved one passes away and the FTTF team knew a special case like Laurel's was inevitable. Where a need is still so great but the person does not 100% fit the traditional criteria of the program. (Current, live in primary caregiver). 2021 was a pilot year for our CFTC Grant to understand how to best execute the program and a "special case CFTC grant to Laurel was the least we could do after everything she did for her husband. 

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Laurel was a wife and live-in caregiver to her husband, Jim for decades. He had FTD. He was a gifted pianist and accordion player that eventually lost his ability to read, write and speak from FTD. His passing this year came with sadness, relief (for the alleviating of his suffering) and with a lot of bills. 

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How long did you care for Jim? 

"From the beginning - long before [official] diagnosis. Until the end: The end of communicating, the end of knowing and then, the ending of breathing. To the very last heartbeat." 

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What was the most important type of support you needed during the caregiving journey? 

"I needed someone I could talk to who then wouldn't hold it against me. [For example,] I want to be able to say, I am so tired I can't take one more step...and not have them jump in and try to "save me" but instead listen and not judge me for expressing my inner thoughts and understand that I still loved my husband, still wanted to be his everything he needed." 

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What words of wisdom do you feel would help other families? 

"Get passed your own grief and feelings of loss. Remember, your loved one has lost more than you ever will to this disease. They have lost who they were and who they had the potential and plans to be. 

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You will slowly become their whole world, but even that degrades. It is exhausting but it will probably also be your only chance to be everything to a person you loved and admired. Step Up. Stay Strong. You can only serve in the Now. 

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Laurel's grant helped pay bills and a chance to see her grandchildren for the first time in years. If that's not relief, we don't know what is!

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Dementia impacts the entire family. Often it is the family who take on the caregiving responsibilities. They do it without hesitation or second thoughts.
"It's just what you do" is so often said by care partners and families. But to care for your other half or parent as he or she declines also brings emotional, physical and financial stress. It is 24/7 and can be lonely.

‍FTTF exists to help these families. We piloted our "Care For the Caregiver's Relief Program" in 2021. The program provides financial relief for the "now" and a customized resource package for continued care. Resources are out there, but the caregiver often is left to figure it out on their own. FTTF aims to point the way and offer a helping hand.

Melissa was the first grant recipient of CFTC Relief Program thanks to proceeds from our Move For Their Thoughts (MoveFTT) challenge to walk a mile a day for 35 days. 

Here is Melissa's story.
‍Melissa and her family live in a small town in the heart of Kentucky. Several years ago her mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. In 2020, Melissa moved in with her full-time and is now her primary caregiver.

The roles have reversed and it is time for the daughter to care for the mother. It's the only way to provide her mother with the care she needs as the disease progressively worsens.

Because of the time and effort involved in caring for her mother, Melissa only leaves the house once every other week to run errands and grocery shop.

The love and commitment Melissa has for family has been exemplified in every conversation with her. In her own words, "Family is everything. I wouldn't have it any other way." 💙